Smart Phone Meeting Blues

There seem to be two types of people in meetings these days – those tethered to their smart phones (overtly or surreptitiously typing away), and the rest of us seething with anger at what they are doing.

It’s a common issue I face, not only in meetings with clients but in group workshops, etc. When someone uses their phone to talk, text, check email messages or browse the internet during a meeting they are sending a clear message that they are not completely engaged in the business at hand. Sometimes people keep their phone out to check the time (because they don’t wear a watch). In any case, the message is still the same – they will be interrupted or choose to be distracted at any time. The rule for any face to face encounter is that people always trump machines. So, clearly the proper behavior is to keep the phone out of sight and on the silent setting unless you have some burning issue (or emergency situation) that you have explained to the others in advance.

OK, so we know that’s the correct behavior, but what to do to modify the habits of those addicted to their devices? For any person charged with running a meeting, I recommend announcing a short “housekeeping” list at the beginning of each session. This would include mentioning the length of the meeting, any potential breaks, a description of where the restrooms and water are located and the mobile phone policy for the session. I usually will ask if anyone has a “fire burning” that requires their cell phones to be left on. For all others, I ask if we can agree that all phones will be placed on silent or vibrate and out of sight for the duration of the meeting. I look at all the participants while nodding and smiling to ensure that they understand and are complying. I might restate the break time so that they understand that they can reconnect at that time.

The key is to re-articulate the phone policy at the beginning of each and every meeting – just be absolutely certain to honor the break times and the ending time of the meeting so everyone knows what to expect. Sometimes, I will say “Thank you for being physically present, now let’s ensure that we are mentally present by coming to an agreement about our phones….. “

If you are not running a meeting (but want to push the group to establish some ground rules) you can even ask the leader, “What’s the smart phone policy for this session?" You might seem like a nudge, but hey, it's going to take a concerted effort to remind people that fiddling with their phone is the same as saying "I don't respect the rest of you in the room!"

We'd love to hear your comments on how you manage this issue or creative ways to stop smart phone distractions in meetings.

Manx, Mansier, Mirdle, Bro?

OK, gentlemen readers – this issue has finally reached critical mass: Shapewear for men is the new reality. With more and more articles in the popular press covering this topic, I believe we can decisively say this category of “squeeze, tuck and hide it” underwear is here to stay.

What does this mean? Just as women have come to depend on products like Spanx to contain, smooth out, and stop the jiggling of excess flesh, you too now have a variety of sausage casing-like products to keep you looking young and svelte!Think Cosmo Kramers "Bro" concept was far-fetched?

Along with Spanx, Sculptees, and Equmen, there are no fewer than 12 companies marketing the slimming undergarments to both beer-drinking 40-somethings as well as body conscious younger dudes! And while some brave individuals are buying in person, the majority of purchases are online.

Benefits include:

• Smoothed out love handles.
• Slimmer waist.
• Redefined chest and no nipple show-through.
• Improved posture – potentially easing back pain.

When would you consider such a thing? Well, how about everyday? Can’t bring yourself to go there? What about those occasions when it really, really matters how you look – like an interview? Or a special event where many pictures will be taken? Because it’s hard to suck in the gut for more than a few minutes at a time, shapeware can really help make a good impression.
Women love Spanx – maybe it’s time men start to understand why! Worried about comments from the guys? Just tell 'em it's for back pain!
Words of caution: New girlfriends may be put off by false advertising. Reality bites back when you get naked!
Read more from the New York Times about this trend.

Body Language

If you've ever wondered what messages your body language is sending, watch our newest video blog. We hope you've enjoyed the video blogs, and would love to hear your comments and feedback.

Nip It In The Bud

Self-awareness of professional appearance is a problem in many offices. It’s bad enough that awkward appearance issues occur in the office, but what do you do when it’s a daily occurrence and no one has the guts to say anything? That’s what we’re here for! Keep reading for some of those “hush” topics, and hopefully you haven’t fallen victim to any of the following.

Is it cold in here, or is it just you? Ladies, we all know what I’m talking about. It’s unfortunate, but inevitable...and awkward for everyone, especially for those colleagues that interact with you every day. Luckily, this is a problem that is easily fixed. Nipple covers are easy to find, especially online. For starters, we suggest these, or even these. Check out a local boutique for possible in-store purchases. It's also important to point out that this affects men as well (especially Simon Cowell).

What’s that smell? No one can mistake the smell of body odor. It’s certainly not pleasant, but what can you do about it, if showering is already part of your daily, morning ritual (which it should be)? Make sure you are using a deodorant containing both an anti-perspirant AND deodorant. It may also be worthwhile to consider using a prescription strength. Causes of body odor can vary from a lack of daily hygiene, to dietary causes, to hereditary factors, and remedies vary just as much. For an extensive list of possible odor-reducing suggestions, check out this website.

I know what you had for lunch. We’ve already touched on this topic in a previous post, but it doesn’t hurt to revisit it. Bad breath is something that everyone experiences. If you suffer from bad breath, be sure to carry gum or mints around with you, and a bottle of water. If you can’t brush after every meal, consider portable toothbrushes like these.If a co-worker suffers from bad breath, and you can’t figure out how to politely tell them, check out this website.

I thought we were at work, not a club. One of the most prevalent problems in the office is what women wear. Don’t know if you’re one of the guilty? If you can go straight from work to a party, you’re not dressing appropriately for a corporate position. A few questions to ask yourself as you’re getting dressed. Can you see cleavage? Keep in mind you may be working with taller people (men in particular) who can easily see down a low-cut shirt. Is my skirt too short? When sitting, a skirt should never be higher than 4 inches from the tops of your knees. Better safe than sorry. Are your clothes too tight? If you’re unsure, find a trusted friend, and get their opinion.

We hope these tips help you avoid any sticky office situations!

Filler Words

Check out our brand new video blog on filler words HERE! We hope you enjoy this blog, and would love your feedback.

Thinking on Your Feet

Imagine this: You’ve just pitched an idea to your company’s board of directors concerning how your company plans to save money in the next fiscal year. After the presentation, a board member raises his hand and asks a question, one to which you’ve not given much thought. What do you do? People find themselves in this situation, one in which they’ve been put on the spot, and don’t know how to think quickly. How does one think on their feet?

Have the question repeated or clarified. Often, questions pop up that haven’t been been carefully crafted. If you ask for clarification, the questioner may change the question, making it more specific or more elaborate. This repetition will not only buy you a little extra time to think, but will give you a better idea of what is being asked. Once you’ve had the question restated and still don’t know the answer, don’t try to bluff your way through. Admit that you don’t know the answer but commit to find out and follow-up!

Stall tactics. There are several tactics you can employ to make your stalling less obvious. Try restating the question. This makes it appear as though you are simply attempting to relay your understanding of what is being asked. Try clarifying or even re-framing the question. If asked how your company will save money, you might say, “There are two ways to save. Would you like to know what we will stop buying, or on what we will spend less money?” Another tactic: don’t be afraid to pause! We’ve mentioned this in previous blogs-- audiences don’t mind the temporary silence. Pausing gives you a moment to gather your thoughts, prevents you from rushing, and can make you look as though you are providing a more thoughtful response.

Keep it simple. At the moment of the question, any number of possible answers might flood your mind, creating a clutter of thoughts that can paralyze. Remember, you don’t need to give an extremely elaborate answer. One specific point with supporting evidence and/or examples will suffice. The key is balance -- too short an answer will create the opportunity to be pelted with even more questions. Too long an answer can turn into rambling, lose the interest of those listening, and you may risk sharing things that may be better left unsaid.

Wrap it up. Once you have given a sufficient answer, give a summary statement and stop. It is often tempting to keep explaining, but this may confuse the audience and undo the answer you’ve already given.

With these tips, you’ll be thinking on your feet in no time.

Image Calling

We’ve blogged about dining etiquette. We’ve blogged about office etiquette. What about phone etiquette? Phone skills seem to be overlooked, even though first impressions are often made via phone these days. Most people don’t think “rules” for talking on the phone or leaving a voicemail exist, but if you want to maintain your polished professional image, you’ll take care to follow these tips.

Smile! We guarantee that someone on the other end of the line will be able to “hear” your smile. There will be a distinct difference in your speech if you smile when you’re talking. Having a hard time following this rule? Keep a mirror at your desk, and smile away! Here’s something else that’s heard over the phone -- your posture! When you sit up, your lungs take in more air and your vocal tone is greatly improved. It’s also important to reset your mindset with each call. You may have just completed a frustrating conversation, but don’t let any emotional leakage carry over to the next call. Each new call deserves your upbeat attitude.

Greetings. Your voicemail greeting must be professional. There’s a current trend in my generation to be goofy, whether it’s by singing a voicemail greeting, or playing music in the background. Voicemail greetings should be void of any background noise and silliness. Be sure to state your full name. If you’ll be away from your phone for an extended period of time, include that as well. Once you are back in the office, be sure to update your greeting. Also, have personal standards. Commit to return all messages within 24 hours, or by the end of the work day. Don’t let your mailbox get full, either. Not only will you miss important messages, but people may suspect you are trying to avoid calls (and work!)

After the beep. How often do we reach someone’s voicemail, and instantly lose all train of thought once we hear the beep? Make sure you know in advance what needs to be said. The bare bones of a voicemail include: Your name, a number where you can be reached, the actual message (the reason you’re calling), and a repeat of your number. Repeating your number will prevent the listener from having to play the entire message again.

Just a few more tips to keep your image polished, professional, and exceeding expectations!