Just Flash Me...

A smile, that is. When you flash a smile at someone you are saying, “I like you, I’m interested in you, I’m happy.” A smile enhances relationships of all types and is one element of nonverbal communication universally recognized by all cultures.

In the April/May 2008 issue of Scientific American MIND magazine, researchers at Duke University found that our minds are better at remembering a person's face and name (either in person or in a photo) if the face is smiling! It seems that a smiling face fires up an area of the brain involved in reward processing. What are the implications of this research? In the words of one researcher "We want to remember people who were kind to us, in case we interact with them in the future."

But not so fast: Psychologists and other nonverbal experts identify 10 or more types of smiles that express a variety of feelings including the following:

The Polite Smile: We turn up both corners of our lips, but there's no engagement with our eyes. We give this type of smile to strangers. The polite smile is often used by politicians or others with a personal agenda. This may also be a tight-lipped smile that we use when we are politely tolerating something.

The Twisted Smile: Again, only the mouth is used, nothing at the top of the face. One side of the mouth is higher than the other. It's easy for others to identified this as a fake smile because our emotions seem conflicted.

The Embarrassed Smile: Bending the head forward slightly, looking down or away or down, and pressing the lips together during the smile. It’s used when we have made a mistake, overstepped our limits, or been caught doing something against the norm.

The Genuine Smile: The lips raise up and part, and the teeth may show. The eyes appear to light up and there’s a crinkling of the skin around the edges of our eyes. A muscle under our eyes also lifts up. This smile lasts between 2/3 of a second to just less than 4 seconds and rarely longer. This smile is the sincere expression of joy, happiness, amusement and pleasure and the one that makes us truly likeable.

So flash me a smile! And, please, make it genuine!

What's the deal with buttons?

So there's a fashion “rule” for men that dictates the bottom buttons on single-breasted jackets are never buttoned and double-breasted jackets are never unbuttoned in public. WHY is this so?

History: King Edward VII (son of Victoria) was so heavy that he was unable to fasten the last button on his vest. His subjects, interpreting this to be a fashion statement, followed his lead and today no men’s sport or suit jacket or vest is designed to be have the bottom buttoned fastened.

Practical Reason: When the waist button alone is closed, it acts like a fulcrum for the jacket. You can move your chest, arms and upper torso more freely and are able to bend with less restriction. When all the buttons are fastened, the suit silouette becomes a cylinder, you look stiff, and bunching and wrinkling result as your movements pulls on the buttons.

Single breasted suit jackets can have one, two, three or more buttons. Two and three button jackets are classic while one or more than three buttons are more fashion forward and come and go with the times.

With three button jackets, you have the option of buttoning the middle or the top and middle buttons. Check the roll of the lapel on your three button suits as some designers intend the lapel to roll to the middle button – in this case you should leave the top button unfastened.

And don’t forget: Single breasted suits should always be buttoned when standing, but unbuttoned when seated. Remember when you stand up, button up. And in case you wear double breasted jackets, keep in mind that they are never unbuttoned in public.

Closet Power Tools - Part 3

OK – I promised you could make some $$ from your closet rejects. In these economic times, consignment stores are flourishing! Plato's Closet (geared toward teens)  and Clothes Mentor (geared more for adults) are making a big splash nationally as resellers of gently used clothes. They are picky about what they take, but if you or your kids have fashion-forward items, you can make money from your castoffs. There are many other independent consignment stores around, so check out the options your area.

If you simply donate your clothes to charity, and you itemize your deductions for taxes, then you are probably missing out on a big tax break. After a closet audit, my clients routinely take bags of clothes to the Salvation Army or Goodwill but many either don’t ask for the receipt for tax purposes or underestimate the value of the items they donate.
Try the free It's Deductible program to accurately track the value of your non-cash donations. You’ll be surprised at the correct resale value of common items as authorized by the IRS. For example, a high quality woman’s blazer is valued at $22 and $9 for a donated high quality men’s polo shirt. (I would have underestimated both.) The online It’s Deductible program (run by Intuit and TurboTax) ensures that you correctly track your donated items (not just clothes!) and lets you squeeze every legally deserved tax savings from your donations.

I've had clients realize tax savings up to $2500 just from cleaning out the closets and tracking their donations!

Closet Power Tools - Part 2

The single best investment you can make for garment care is a Jiffy Steamer J-2000 model. Why do I swear by this product and recommend it to every single client and group I talk to? Here are the top five reasons:

Keeps you looking great. Showing up in wrinkled clothes sends a clear message that “I don’t care” and “I’m too lazy.” Steaming wipes away the wrinkles quickly and easily and your look now says “my image matters!”
It’s a gadget that works. I will not trash-talk other products, but let’s just say I’ve had a history with other steamers…. Jiffy is the absolute best – the company basically invented steaming and has never compromised on quality. Made in Tennessee, still family owned and run.
Saves big bucks. Many of us take clothes to the dry cleaner when they are merely wrinkled, not stained or soiled. This practice runs up big cleaning bills. Steam instead and pocket some serious $$.

Preserves clothes. Dry cleaning and frequent ironing damages the fibers of our good clothes and over time this takes a toll. Steaming relaxes (not crushes) the fibers and wrinkles fall out. For wool pieces, steaming refreshes and re-blocks the garment to its original shape.
Quick and convenient. Nothing complicated. Flip it on. Head of steam in 90 seconds. No need for an ironing board. Uses tap water from the sink. Works great for delicates, knits, suiting, and even polo shirts and jeans. I recommend keeping it in or near your closet so it’s always at hand.
OK, this is such a no-brainer – go order one from the Jiffy website now!
Remember, it’s the J-2000 that you want for home use. If you travel, you also need the Esteam model. To support breast cancer research, order their snazzy pink models – same price!

Closet Power Tools - Part 1

Picking up from the last post on my Snow Day closet cleanout – it took me about two and half hours to clean out, purge and reload the closet. Not very long, really! When I work with clients on image management, this part of the process can take much longer. The point is, you must do this regularly – optimally twice a year to keep your closet in top shape.

Now, are you ready to take your closet to the next level? OK! You need some closet gear. Here is Part 1 of must-haves for maintaining your clothes, and by extension, your personal image!

The Fabric Shaver. This little device removes unsightly fuzz and pilling from knit sweaters and other garments. The picture shows a $7.99 model from The Container Store, but I saw one at Walmart today for under $6.00. If the fabric weave is really tight, you can even try using a regular razor – I did this on some old ski wear that was pilling, and now it looks like new.

You Need Great Hangers. When I walk into most of my client’s closets, I see a hodge-podge of hangers in use. Wire hangers from the dry cleaners, cheap tubular hangers in various colors, and the hard plastic kind from the store. Not only do the closets look dumpy, but none of these hangers are good for your clothes. Knits that could stretch out are better off folded on shelves, but for most women’s tops and men’s shirts, I recommend semi-contoured wooden hangers. The semi-curved feature is important as it simulates the shoulder line of our body. Good wooden hangers have a smooth finish, have the width to better support the garment and frankly, they just look great hanging uniformly in your closet. For pants and skirts, clip from the waistband and hang lengthwise to allow wrinkles to fall out. Folding them over a wire hanger leaves a tell-tale crease at the fold. I like the rounded pant/skirt hanger shown here because there are no sharp







corners to snag fabric. Check out www.hangersdirect.com and look for their free shipping promo. They also sell extra-large hangers – if you are XL or larger, these will help you avoid unslightly “humps” in the shoulders from smaller hangers.
Finally, this picture shows the original “Huggable” brand of hangers that are perfect for thin strapped tops or other garments that slip off regular hangers. The flocked finish is available in other brands too – I’ve seen them at Walmart, Target, Container Store, etc. at a variety of price points.

The following pretty much sums up my feelings about wire hangers.

Hey! Check in for our next post on the single best investment you can make for garment care. Stay tuned!

Snow Day Image Help

It’s a snow day! Actually, it’s snow on top of ice with prospects of a couple of days stuck at home. Perfect time for a wardrobe audit and closet cleanout! I know, the allure of the TV and internet provide formidable competition to the seemingly “blah” task of tackling the closet, but believe me – the sense of accomplishment plus image improvement will make it soooo worthwhile.
So follow along because this is exactly what I’m doing today:
First 20 minutes: Taking everything out of my side of the walk-in closet I share with my husband (he can do his side later!) Wow, even though I do this regularly I’ve collected a lot more stuff. Gotta get out the shoes, the paperwork I’ve shoved in here, the tennis racket I never use. Hey, I found a necklace in the corner that I thought I’d lost.
Next 20 minutes: With my side of the closet absolutely empty, start deep cleaning. Wipe down the shelves, the rod (it’s particularly dusty), vacuum the carpet, clean the baseboard, and spot treat some carpet stains. Hmm… maybe a little air freshener wouldn’t hurt.
Next hour (it may take you more or less time depending on how much stuff you have): Consider each garment one at a time. Each piece I pick up must pass all of the following tests to “earn” its way back into the closet.
1. Does it fit? This means trying things on. Ugh! Reality bites. I’ve found 5 pairs of pants that don’t fit – even if I lose 10 pounds, forget it. These go in the giveaway pile.
2. Is it a good color for me? No items allowed that make me look washed out or pale. If it’s a print, does it overwhelm me or relate to my body scale?
3. Is it still in style? I usually buy “classic” items that don’t go out of style too quickly, but even subtle fashion changes can doom our look to “out of date.”
4. Is it in good shape? We all have our favorite pieces that we “wear to death.” I’ve discovered a favorite shirt that must be discarded because it’s faded and has a coffee stain.
5. Does it need an alteration or repair? A missing button has prevented me from wearing a favorite jacket this winter. Sewing it on and it’s back into rotation! A couple of sweaters needed “shaving” for pilling. Now they look great. Sending my leather jacket to Arrow Fabricare in Kansas City for cleaning. You can download a free shipping ticket at www.arrowfabricare.com.

6. Do I love it? This is the final test – I won’t put anything back into the closet unless it makes me feel good about wearing it. No need to sabotage my image by feeling too guilty to discard a gift or keep a pair of uncomfortable shoes.
Whew! Only the good stuff passed the test. Everything in my closet works for me! Clutter banished! Time for lunch!

Watch out for the next posting on how to make $$ with your giveaway pile, plus easy closet ideas for organization and garment care.

Keeping the Stick in Lipstick

Time for a post on grooming. Ladies, listen up because we've found something great.

Without lipstick, I feel naked. My lips are pale and lifeless. Most women benefit from some color on the face and lipstick is key. However, I talk to people all day and it wears off pretty fast. I find myself using "activities" in presentations as an opportunity to furtively reapply some color. And at meals and social events, I always leave lip evidence on my glass no matter how carefully I try to sip my Pinot Noir.

The Fix: Maybelline Superstay Lipcolor. Many of you know we are devoted to the BeautiControl cosmetics that we sell at our office. But I gotta tell you. This Maybelline product is great. It stays on all day. Through speeches. Through lunch and dinner. Looks great.

Application tips - this is a two step process:

• Apply color end to absolutely clean lips
• Wait two minutes for drying
• Apply balm end
• Reapply balm later as needed

Side effects? Dryness. If you use this product, you'll definitely need to baby your lips at night by using a remover and a lip recovery balm (we sell a great one).
OK, anything this great probably isn't metabolized in my liver, but unless the FDA issues a product recall, I'm going to enjoy the all day color and leave no trace on my coffee cup or napkin!
Color options are good and the price is right at around $8 and is available at all drugstores.
Shout out to Michelle Anderson, attorney at Citigroup, for letting us know about this great item!