How To Turn People Off!

We want to be around people who appreciate us, enlighten us, make an effort to connect with us and who make us feel uplifted or happy. When you bring these four “social gifts” to the people around you, you will create a fan base-- it’s guaranteed! But what about the flip side? What are the qualities that will send people running, avoiding you at every turn and gritting their teeth when they must engage with you? Here are some specific conversational types that can poison your work environment.

• You think You’ve Got Problems? We are at our most boring when talking about our personal problems. Whether it’s a health issue, the leak at your house or your meddling mother-in-law, spare your work colleagues the burden of dumping this information on them. (That’s what good non-work friends are for.)

• My Brilliant and Talented Children. Sure, I think my kids are phenomenal, but no one else cares--really! Parenthood can bring out the worst in otherwise excellent conversationalists, as they see each new milestone in their children’s lives as New York Times front page material.

• It’s All about Me! All the time! These people have the radio dialed to themselves and it’s locked in permanently. They mistakenly think they are good communicators because they are talking, but they are among the most boring individuals because they don’t let others participate.

• Debbie Downers. These are the individuals that suck the energy out of any conversation by only seeing the negative and often seem to relish delivering bad news. They leave a wake of depression in their path.

• Hey! Have you Heard the Latest? Gossipers masquerade as exciting conversationalists because they usually have some new and interesting tidbit to share. However, because gossip often undermines the credibility of others, the blow-back potential on participants is dangerously risky. Smart professionals keep their distance from this type.

• My Way or the Highway. Opinionated people are unwilling to see another person’s point of view and quickly manage to alienate others. They are so intent on proving their point that it becomes exhausting to be around them. As managers, these people tend to be surrounded by “yes” people but not by authentic supporters.

Any chance you recognize yourself in any of these types? Yikes! Stay tuned for our next blog on how to expertly use the four social gifts.