The Four Universal Social Gifts

In my last blog, I mentioned the Four Universal Social Gifts. I first came across this idea in the book First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You by Ann Demariais and Valerie White - the cover is shown here.  It's an excellent read!

The social gifts are easy ways that we can be generous with others in our daily lives. Because they focus on how others feel, when you deliver them in a balanced way, the result will amplify your own charisma! Here they are:

1) Appreciation. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. One of the easiest ways to make people feel appreciated is to compliment them on a quality or ability that they do well. The key to giving good complements is to be sincere and specific. You can’t just say, “Liz, you’re great!” A general comment like that might be nice to hear but it doesn’t end up meaning much. “Liz, your reports are always so clear and concise – I really admire your ability to distill the information.” Now that’s a specific and sincere compliment that will surely be well-received!

2) Connection. This is about discovering where you intersect with others. If you start being more aware of others’ activities, you’ll soon discover commonalities. “ Hi, I noticed you’re reading the The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I just read it and really liked it! Have you read any of the other books in the series?” Or “Don’t you have a son that plays soccer for our town league? My daughter is interested in joining -- has it been a good experience for him?” When we know someone shares an interest, it’s the start of a bond and provides an important sense of belonging.

3) Elevation. We all like to be in good spirits and around others who are in a good mood. One of the best gifts we can give to others is to demonstrate a positive attitude by smiling, laughing and looking at the lighter aspects of any situation.

4) Enlightenment. Most people are curious and like to learn something new. You can bring the gift of enlightenment by relaying some tidbit of information to others that may be interesting or useful to them. It doesn’t need to be particularly intellectual to have the same effect. “Hey, I just heard on the radio that Rascal Flatts is coming to the area for a concert in two months – I know you love them. You can check Ticketmaster for tickets today!”

Being socially generous allows us to build social capital with everyone we meet. Find ways today to start giving and watch your efforts pay immediate dividends!