How Do You Do?

Have you ever been out with friends who run into someone they know, but you are not introduced?  You stand awkwardly not really included in the conversation because you don't know the other person. Or have you ever been at a business function with someone where others know each other, but no one introduces you? Why do we sometimes forget or avoid this social grace? Maybe something that seems so simple is not. Learning the fundamentals for introducing yourself and others will help you feel more secure in social and business situations and you will appear more polished. It’s really not so hard! So, let’s review the basics…

• When you’re the introducer: Don’t leave people out there hanging when they don’t know everyone present! Put everyone at ease and make those introductions! When doing so, remember two things. First, state their full name-first and last. Second, offer snippets of information about the people you’re introducing (their professions, or how you know them). This helps put the person in context and provides an opening for conversation with others present.

• Who’s introduced to whom? Today it is rank, not gender, that determines who’s presented to whom. The more “important” person “receives” the other person, such as “Mr. Big Boss, this is Sally Jones, our music assistant.” Importance can be defined by job level, age, experience, or degree of public recognition. Remember; mention the “important” person’s name first.

• When you are introduced: If the introducer forgets your name, come to their rescue, extend your hand and introduce yourself. If you have already met the person to whom you’re being introduced and they don’t remember you, just quickly remind them where you met. There’s no reason to feel awkward, just smile, put out your hand and state your name.

• Introducing yourself: When you find yourself at a function and no one introduces you, jump right in, extend your hand and state your name. Say “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Mary Smith from Hill and Dell.” Be sure to state both your names.

• Concerning names: For many people, names go in one ear and out the other during introductions. Try to put the focus on the other person and listen closely to the name, repeat it in your greeting and then visualize how it would look written down. If you suffer a memory loss with someone you’ve met before, don’t be ashamed to admit it. Be honest and calm: “I’m so sorry, I remember meeting you, but I simply can’t recall your name.” If you remember anything at all about the person or a previous conversation, bring it up.

Whether introducing yourself or being introduced by others, smile and stay relaxed. A warm smile, eye contact, a firm handshake, and sincere greeting are essential to a successful first meeting. Remembering these basics of introductions will put others at ease and you will reap the benefits of social graciousness. Go forth and introduce!